Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Top 10 Reasons Why Captains are an Awesome LOTRO Class

Who would want to face a horde of captains? Not I!

Everybody loves them some cappie! Let's face it, these hulking heavies and hoisters of halberds and halitosis are beloved on the battlefield, and for very good reason. Let us count the ways...
  1. Racial Homogeny. Only Men can be captains. Just sayin'.
  2. Passive Buffs. Remember the days when you had to manually apply every crit buff to every member of your raid? Don't you miss those days? Yeah, me neither.
  3. Cappie Kick! Every cappie has told that story: the time when they kicked a mob, triggered a Fellowship Maneuver, and proceeded to pound the enemy into the dirt.
  4. Death by Halitosis. We all know the tongue is "as sharp as any two-edged sword," but the captain takes this truism to the next level by actually slaying foes with his voice. "Shouting down the opposition" takes on a whole new meaning when this guy is on the field.
  5. Pets. Anyone who isn't ecstatic at the idea of having their own personal Dwarf running around displaying their heraldry has no business calling themselves a fan of the fantasy genre.
  6. Halberd Crits. Whenever I get taunted about my limited damage output, I simply console myself by remembering all of the sparring matches that ended with my opponent's severed limbs lying before me in a steaming heap of gore. <wipes away a single tear> Ah, nostalgia...
  7. Red-line Routing Cry. The reason your fellowship's collective blades suddenly sound like a circular saw churning through a bovine carcass? Yeah, that's all me. You're welcome.
  8. Command Respect. For some reason, the command "/lickmyboot" doesn't trigger this force-emote, but it should. Bow before me, worms!
  9. In Defence of Middle-earth. Just being in my general vicinity is enough to make you awesome. While everyone else has to swim across Lake Nenuial to reach the Blue Lady, we captains levitate there instead.
  10. Banners. See that? That's my own personal dude carrying my own personal flag. Back o' the line, b*tch.
Master of Toons

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