Monday, 27th of Rethe, Year 1418 Shire-reckoning
The Refuge of Gath Forthnir, Somewhere in the Land of Angmar
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| Nephyn the huntress |
It was very late, and it was very dark. The first thing I noticed was that Drodie was the only one of our Company who was asleep nearby. He was snoring as loudly as ever and the other three were not within sight, so I decided to get up and walk around a bit. Despite the early hour there was always something going on in this place, so I was disturbing no one with my little nocturnal romp. There were, of course, still a few torches lit, for this was a camp of war and ever vigilant, and I was able to steal quietly about in the gloom at will.
I hadn't gone far at all when there came a faint schling! I had heard that sound numerous times during my travels and knew exactly what I would find even before I saw it. I turned a corner and, sure enough, there was Lagodir, seated on the ground, with his broadsword and his trusty whetstone in hand. Schling! He drew the stone down the length of the blade and examined it closely, checking for any burrs or other imperfections along the cutting edges. From my time alongside the Man, I also knew he could sharpen his sword in his sleep, and he would often turn matters over in his mind while he performed this menial and repetitive task. I waved at him and he smiled back at me, but made no other sign as I drew nearer.
"Can't sleep?" I asked innocently. He merely nodded in answer. I cast my eyes quickly over the Gondorian's neatly assembled collection of equipment which lay beside him, already packed and ready to go. With Lagodir, such excessive levels of organization and preparedness almost always meant he was troubled about something. I decided to wait and be silent. Schling. Schling. The Man looked up at me expectantly. Schling.
"My thoughts are just as you suspect," he said suddenly. "Once before have I been within the strongholds of the Dark Lord, and the memory is very evil. Either we shall be victorious in our endeavor or... I shall not be taken captive. Of that, you may be certain." I swallowed hard.
"I admit I was thinking along those lines," I said. "Ours is a desperate gambit, but there is still hope of victory."
"Aye, there is," he agreed, "So long as we hold faith among ourselves. That much, at least, have all my ordeals taught me. I am confident that we understand our foes, and that is the first step toward victory. We will undoubtedly face great horrors within that fortress, but we have shown fortitude against such evils before; I hold out hope that my plans will come to fruition." I pondered his last statement for a moment.
"Yet I can see that something besides this troubles you," I said. He looked at me quickly, then returned his gaze to his work.
"I hope that the witch does not lead us astray," he said. "I know not what or even whether she is plotting behind our backs, but I am not easy in my mind: I cannot understand why Wenhair would still believe me to be Guloth returned nor why the witch would allow her daughter's delusion to continue. She is up to something."
"Well, I don't suppose there's much we can do about it -- not now, in any case," I offered. "It looks to me as if you are more than ready for whatever tomorrow might bring; perhaps you should try and get some rest?"
"Yes, I shall do so anon," he said with wink and a kind smile. "And you should be doing the same."
I took my leave of the Man, but I did not head back toward the campsite just then, for I was curious as to where Nephyn and Gaelira might have gone. Normally the Elf could be found buried in counsel with various people far into the late watches as she gathered news of the Enemy's movements or analyzed our best courses of action for the coming day's adventures. But that was not what I found this night: I came upon her quite suddenly in the infirmary, of all places, seated on an empty bed. The room was vacant except for her, and she sat with head bowed, as if deep in thought.
"Hullo!" I chirped as I trotted up to her. She raised her head and greeted me with a broad smile.
"Padryc!" she said, sounding genuinely pleased to see me. "Why are you not sleeping? Is Drodie doing another of his thunder-battle impressions from his pillow?"
"He is," I said with a laugh, "Though he is not the reason for my wakefulness -- I just couldn't sleep and saw three of my friends were not near me, so I decided to go find them." I hopped up onto the bed beside her and let me feet dangle over the edge.
"I think, rather, that you perceive the simmering tensions among your companions," she said, "And you are trying to do your part to ease them, am I right?" Gaelira had a way of cutting straight to the heart of a matter which was quite unnerving -- almost irritatingly so, because it tends to put you on the defensive about being so transparent until you get used to it -- but I knew she was correct, so there was no point in arguing.
"I suppose so," I said. "At first I thought I was nervous about what tomorrow may bring, but then I realized: I haven't known what tomorrow may bring for months now, so this night shouldn't be that much different from all the others! I know infiltrating Carn Dum won't be like anything we've attempted yet, but I'm more concerned about us right now. Do you think we will hold together? We have all been a bit stressed lately."
"It is not anger or discontent at each other," the Elf replied. "I think some of us bear our own burdens and we are trying to make peace with them as we prepare for this most dangerous part of our journey."
"Who is we?" I asked. Gaelira laughed aloud.
"You are as attentive as ever, Padryc," she said. "Yes, I do have something on my mind, but it is nothing which you will find surprising. Just this: our quest nears its end -- for good or ill -- and neither outcome means rest and comfort for me. If we fail then we fall, for I have no desire to be taken captive in such a terrible place. Yet if we succeed, then I will face what could be an even greater threat in the form of the palantir. I do not know if I am or shall ever be ready for such a trial, but I must put it out of my mind for the time being: we must secure the thing first, before all else."
"Your sacrifice does you great honour," I said with sincerity. "You and all your people."
"Thank you," she nodded. "But there will be time enough for that later, assuming we recover the orb at all. Meanwhile, I have other cares: I have seen no sign of Malkan the eagle since we parted at the Halls of Night, nigh on twelve days ago. I had sent him with tidings of our progress to Elrond in Rivendell, for finding Mallacai was an important milestone. Rivendell is, of course, a long way from Angmar (even for an eagle swift of wing), but I had expected him to return before now. Yet we cannot delay on his account: we shall attempt to enter Carn Dum on the morrow and hope to see Malkan once we return from there, for we shall require the protection of the Seekers of the Seven Stars to escort the palantir to Rivendell once we have obtained it. I had thought to send word to Mallacai by way of the eagle, but unless he finds us here very soon I fear we may not have the chance. Still, we shall deal with that when and if we must."
"We will trust to your leadership," I said. "You have lot led us astray."
"You are kind to say so," she replied, "And I shall do my best. The tale of Elladan's Outriders, so far as it has yet gone, is already a remarkable one and you yourself are not the least remarkable among us. But what will become of you if we succeed?"
"Oh, well," I hawed, "If we're planning to take the Seeing-stone to Rivendell then I'd just want to tag along some more. I wouldn't mind staying there again for a spell, and I'd certainly like the chance to meet up with Old Mr. Bilbo one more time -- I expect he'd be quite interested in my little journal. He might even give me some pointers on improving it!"
"That he might," the Elf said with a nod. "Not to be macabre about it, but do you think you should take it with you tomorrow? There is a chance we may not return, and I would not have your writings lost to the Free Peoples in the depths of Carn Dum."
"Say, that's a fair point," I agreed. "I will leave the book here with Maerchiniath before we go. I can still take notes (if I get the chance at all) on loose leaves then add them back into the journal upon our return."
"A wise course," Gaelira said. "And now it would be best if you were to get some sleep, Padryc, and forget all cares for a time. May you be blessed with fair dreams, my friend."
We said our good-nights, but even then I was not ready to return to my bed. I poked my nose down a few more tunnels, for there was still one companion of mine which remained missing. Then, turning a corner, I saw Nephyn seated at the edge of the pool of water in the centre of the caverns. I was approaching her from behind, but it looked to me as though she was admiring the waterfall again, which continued its unending cascade down from some unknown height above us. For no particular reason, I padded up beside her and sat myself down on a low crate (after moving some rope and a few fishing hooks out of the way). She looked over at me and smiled. It was a curious sort of smile: one of those where the person casts their eyes downward, as if they had been caught doing something they shouldn't have been.
"You always manage to catch me in these private reveries, little friend," she said. Her voice was sad, and it was hard to catch her words above the noise of the falls.
"It's a gift," I said with a shrug and a chuckle. "Somehow I seem to know when one of my friends could use a set of hobbit-ears to speak into. Or do I guess wrongly?"
"No," she said as she looked back at the waterfall with a sigh. "No, you're right, of course; it's just this isn't something I'd wish to be pondering at this juncture. Not when we have so many more important things on which to focus first." I waited patiently as we watched and listened to the water together for several minutes.
"I'm torn," the huntress said at last. "The greater part of me is glad, for we have toiled long and overcome much to reach this point in our journey. But there is another part, a smaller part, that worries our time together may be drawing to its end. We may not survive this ordeal, for one thing -- or perhaps some of us might not, which is just as bad (if not worse) to my mind -- but even if we succeed, what then? Most of us have spoken of our individual paths for ourselves once we recover the -- once we accomplish our goal. But none of those paths lie in the same direction. After all of these weeks and months of travelling and struggling together... well, I just hate to think that our fellowship might be coming to its end. I just found my family. I don't want to lose it so soon."
There was a slight break in her voice which very nearly rent my heart just then, but I refused to show weakness; not at a time like that. I took a deep breath and exhaled. There was something I had known deep down inside me for a while -- something I had wished to tell Nephyn for weeks, but had never found the right moment to say until now.
"We've all made our choices to go where we're going. Maybe some or all of us won't see the Sun again once we plunge into that darkness. If we are victorious, you have my word, at least, that I will not leave you. I... I saw what you wrote in the journal and I know I broke trust with you by recording the story of your family. I am sorry. But I also know you understand why I did it and you don't hold my actions against me. If we should win through this, I want to journey with you to Dale, or Dunland, or wherever it is you wish to begin the search for your family. Perhaps I will eventually be able to begin a new a life in the Shire and I would like for that to happen someday, but I want much more to see how your story ends. And so I will go with you when you begin your own quest -- if you'll have me, that is."
The young huntress looked at me with tears starting in her eyes, but they did not fall. She sniffled once, passed her wrist across her face, and turned to look at the waterfall again. There was a long silence. Believe me when I tell you that Gath Forthnir bears absolutely no resemblance to the Common Room of the Prancing Pony which lays many, many miles to the south, yet that was the place I saw in my mind's eye. It seemed to me for an instant that the roar of the water suddenly became the roar of a great, comforting fire, complete with an empty cauldron on the hearth. I put my hand gently on the young Woman's shoulder.
"I suppose we remain just two wayward friends," I said at last, "Fated to wander together." Nephyn laughed slightly and the tears rolled down her cheeks.
"I like the sound of that," she said.
We two sat together for some time and, though we exchanged no more words, we each took great comfort in the presence of the other. After a while I found the smooth rushing of the water was making me drowsy, and I felt I could finally go to sleep. I told Nephyn so and she followed me back to our little bivouac, saying she was going to try and get some shut-eye herself. I lay down and wrapped myself in my blankets, but there was such a warmth in my heart I found that I hardly needed them.
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